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Thad
Thad
First Appearance: Shortpacked! 27 April 2005

Thaddeus, better known as Thad, is one of the Shortpacked store's many regular customers. Unlike the creeps and malcontents that can usually be found roaming its aisles, he actually seems to be a pretty reasonable guy. He even buys toys instead of whining about them!

HistoryEdit

Thad first came into the store asking about the new Superman costume from Superman Returns. Ethan was shocked to discover that Thad wasn't just looking for an opportunity to complain about how silly Superman looked, but actually wanted to see the costume. Noticing Ethan's reaction, Thad quite rightly accused him of having a "hate-on for fandoms."

Spoiler warning!
Plot and/or ending details follow.

Later, when Robin DeSanto temporarily turned Ethan into a drooling asshole through gratuitous bumper stickers, Thad called him out again, telling Ethan that he spent more time complaining about toys than any of the wackjob customers. After listening to them argue, Robin declared "Ethan x That Guy OTP!"

Since Ethan was reluctant to make a move, Robin attempted to jump-start their relationship by amending her Proposition 469, which would ban all cancer forever, to include a provision that legally required Thad and Ethan to make out licky-style. However, the two wound up becoming friends - and more importantly, toy-hunting buddies - well before voting could take place.

But when Ethan was finally ready to take their relationship to the next level, Thad revealed that he'd already started banging Ethan's counterpart at McAwesome's, Evan. Thad let him down gently, explaining that he couldn't be about toys 24/7, but hoped the two of them could still be friends.

However, Thad's bliss with Evan was not to last. Evan was struck by a lead box under suspicious circumstances, slipped into a coma, and died. That would have been the end of it, but some years later, Evan was resurrected as a murderous cyborg death machine by the Axis of Something.

When Evan attacked the store with his fellow Axis members, Robin texted Thad with the news. Thad soon showed up to reunite with his hideous half-machine boyfriend, and the two went off to engage in passionate, vaguely disturbing man-bot sex - at least in Robin's imagination.

TriviaEdit

  • Amazingly, his last name is not Guy. Yeah, I'm shocked too.

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